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No Vacation Required Podcast

For fulfillment fanatics interested in traveling deliriously, living deliberately, and working virtually.

The Counter Starts Over

NVR Guys

We blew it. Our argument counter has to start over. We had, oh, about a 5-hour argument over something ridiculous.

Get this.... it lasted through two visits to a coffee shop (we had to get up once to walk around the block), and a trip to the gym.

The good news here (and something we haven't mentioned before) is that whenever we have an argument, we come to a joint conclusion about what it's about before walking away from it. If it's totally meaningless, we both name it as such and move on. If there's a nugget of something new to be learned, we acknowledge that and move on.

After such a long argument, it took a lot of willpower to not make it for nothing. We challenged ourselves to send it off into the past in the right way – with a joint assessment of what it was, and an agreement regarding what we'll (try) to do different next time.

As we've said before, our relationship is incredibly solid – we don't argue about things that put our marriage on shaky ground. And, we've also said that we believe that an occasional argument is actually a really good thing. Even so – and even though we have to start our counter over – we're proud of ourselves for not arguing for nothing. 

No matter how small, an argument provides an opportunity to learn and grow.

Have you left us your wisdom/advice/thought? If not, do it! If so, share more! Not sure what to say? Feel free to pass along your favorite wisdom or advice or thought from another person.