When Things Get Ugly, Commit
I knew it pretty much the second my eyes flew open. Something was off.
That “something” turned out to be the start of the day – it was way off. A work day. More specifically, a Monday that was now starting over two hours later than expected. And the realizations didn’t get any brighter. Moments after my eyes popped open, my brain shifted from “oh no, what time is it” mode to “what do I do to make my head stop hurting and my brain start working” mode.
Add to that the fact that we were in New York. The previous day/night had unexpectedly turned out to be an over-the-top spontaneous blast and we were now about to pay the price. Before even thinking of turning on the computers, we were smart enough to hustle down to our hotel’s breakfast room in order to start guzzling coffee. I knew we had scheduled a packed morning in order to enjoy more sight seeing later in the afternoon. I needed to be fully prepared (and alert) before revving up the computer and facing iCal.
Not only had we missed our first couple of commitments, a welcome/unwelcome e-mail was waiting for us. A potential client, who had had his company’s project out for bid for several weeks, was ready to make a decision. That day.
He was asking that all potential consultants be available for last minute requests, questions, etc. in order for he and his colleagues to make a decision by the end of the day. We were already in a mess, and now we were in a hot mess.
We wanted that project – it was right in our pocket – and we weren’t about ready to give up.
So what did we do? What we always try to do when things get ugly – commit to three things.
1) Commit to taking a breath.
Unwelcome situations can often serve as gravity pulling you deeper into a frenzy and an unproductive state of panic. We know this all too well from lots of experience living in the mayhem of a crisis. Now, we usually know better and can snap ourselves out of the drama long enough to admit that we need to stay calm and make a plan.
How did that apply in this situation? First, we prioritized. We got our missed morning activities rescheduled and then shot off an e-mail to the client making the big decision. You may be surprised by what we said. We let him know that – due to the short notice – we needed about 90 minutes but then would be available for questions, negotiating, whatever.
You know what we did in those 90 minutes? We went to the gym. We knew, feeling the way we were feeling, we wouldn’t be able to bring our “A” game. We needed to be far more articulate than the current headaches and fog would allow. We needed to enter into the final stretch of earning this client’s business fully prepared.
2) Commit to staying positive.
We also know, from lots of first hand experience, that it’s tough to not buy into a “poor me” mentality. We did it all the time when we worked for corporations. In terms of this potential client, we could have easily said “We will never pull this off today.” Even more likely, we could have side-tracked appropriate communication and taken a sort of curt and hurried vibe.
We knew that in order to stay positive, we needed to do #1. Had we not taken a breath – made a plan, gone to the gym – we would not have been set up for success with #2.
Positivity works best in each and every situation because, ultimately, output equals input. Recently, a friend contacted us upset because another friend was talking crap about him on Facebook. While that’s a post in and of itself, we gave the same advice. You never regret staying positive.
3) Commit to focusing on YOU.
For a brief period that Monday morning in New York, we were consumed with what our competition was doing. “I bet we’re the last ones to read this e-mail.” “I bet the other consultants have already been in touch.” “We’re screwed!”
Enter steps 1 and 2. Had we not taken a moment to collect ourselves and resolved to stay positive, we could have been consumed with thoughts of what everyone else was doing. This does absolutely no good. We were confident that we were a perfect fit for the project, so we stayed laser focused on us and what we could do to secure the project.
As we also told that friend who was being clobbered by negativity on Facebook… Each of us can control only our own thoughts, words and actions. Don’t buy into another person’s irrational and uncool behavior. Similarly, don’t buy into the hysteria of a situation.
Know YOU and bring that.
In the end, despite one of the roughest days in our virtual work history, we got that client. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way. We find that sticking to those three steps – in work and in life – is a significant move in the right direction.
I found it interesting that you went to the gym with those 90 minutes. That kind of behavior would never work in corporate America!
No, it would not! It was ultimately a smart use of time, and – of course – the client had no clue we were going to the gym. They just thought we needed 90 minutes to clear our schedule in order to be 100% present for them.
I know it sounds a bit linear in this post, but it did NOT feel easy that morning.
Love these steps. It’s SO important to stay positive and take care of yourself in these situations. Didn’t expect the gym, but that’s a great idea. Congrats on getting the client
Thanks… it can be tough at times. One or the other of us is usually on the ball enough to get us moving in the right direction. This is one of the success stories.
That’s awesome guys & great advice. You stayed cool and nailed it!
Great tips! I also find myself feeling better and more able to focus after a dose of exercise. Hope you enjoyed the rest of your time in NY!:-)
NYC was 100% great!
Love your holistic approach to life. To slowing down and letting a cool, calm head rule the day. I never fail to find inspiration and wisdom in your words. Love you guys!
Thanks, Marsha. We continually practice (and screw up less and less).
When I grow up, I want to start maximizing my short spurts of free time when I don’t feel well by going to the gym. Instead, I usually wallow… As always, an inspirational post!
Neither one of us ever regrets having gone to the gym. Having said that… sometimes those first 10 minutes – or merely getting to the gym – is torture.
It’s tough when you are in an ugly situation and you’re not sure if it’ll ever get prettier. I also question my own dedication to staying committed to that task. But, enough about me! Good on you for pushing through!
When you make money doing consulting/freelancing, you learn (quickly!) to stay committed. That’s what was rough about that day. SO MUCH gravity was pulling us towards retreating, but we didn’t want to let the client go.
Two ways to respond to stress: long walk or long bath!
Truth.
I completely relate with the point about staying positive! Even though I don’t always practice what I preach, so to speak.
It’s difficult. Especially – as in the case of our friend – when you’re being bombarded (publicly) by negativity. It’s almost impossible to fight the urge to swing back with equally negative words.
Great story, and great advice as always, guys. You never cease to amaze me with what you can do.
Thanks, Gray! Very sweet of you.
A lot of times when clients give you that last minute jumping-through-hoops directive, you just have to do your best. Chances are, they had already determined who to award the project to.
We ran into a situation last year for what we deemed a $4 million project. The client set something up a couple of days before their decision to have the vendors enter an online website and bid for the job – ebay style, which we have NEVER encountered. We decided we already knew our bottom acceptable price, so we entered that and walked away and got some coffee, not changing our price at all during the bidding session. Knowing we had competitors who are willing to give away their business to get in, we decided not to play that game. At the end of the bidding, we were #3. The client called later to ask why we didn’t continue to bid – what??. In the end, they still wanted quality and service – they retracted from their bidding idea, and we got have of the business at OUR price.
You always have so much wisdom when you share your stories about work, Don. Time for you to manage a team!
Great advice and something I have been struggling with lately myself. I do notice the more I stay positive, things start to turn around for the better. Even if things don’t turn out exactly the way you had hoped, you 1. Feel better and more healthy by staying positive 2. See the positive sides of the other possibilities.
#1 is such a great point. you just feel better staying positive.
These things are so simple yet so easy to forget – especially the reminder to stay positive.
No kidding. Just yesterday, I didn’t take our own advice. Veering into negativity completely changed the rest of my day and unnecessarily tainted things that had nothing to do with the initial issue and that would have been fine had I not carried the negativity. We’re still learning.
Excellent advice that I would not have taken in that situation! I am cool under pressure, but I would have focused 100% on the “crisis.” I love that you went to the gym!
I want to hear more about you being cool under pressure!
Even though your excellent post was in reference to a work situation I think this is great advice/perspective for family or personal situations. I am dealing with elder parent issues and sticky family dynamics– full of surprises and “big” decisions. Taking a reflective moment, focusing on the positive and working to stay “true” to the desires and needs of my older parents are useful steps to help me stay focused. Thank you!
We, too, find that our little tips work in most situations – not just work. When, that is, we remember to follow our own advice!
Great advice! Unfortunately sometimes it is hard to stay focused and stay positive. Glad you guys succeeded!
That time we succeeded, at least
I think I have been in this type of situation too many times. It’s never a fun place to be. You give great advice to trek through it though. I appreciate the words of wisdom. I’ll try and apply them when I get back to that place!
Thanks, Meg – and we’ll use YOUR inspiration / wisdom to eat more vegan food.
Great advice! Taking a breath and focusing on what needs to be done rather than panicking is so key. Congrats on getting the project!
Thanks, Susana!
I sometimes struggle to stay positive, so I’ve been working on that a lot lately. Solid reminders (like this!) help a lot. I’m also trying to say NO to things that are draining away energy (like new projects I’m not really stoked about, but feel obligated to help with), and YES to new experiences. So far it’s going great!
Three cheers for saying “no” to things that drain energy.
Love your tips about how to re-energize and regain your focus. Exercise is a great one because I think when we’re tired and out of sorts, it’s the last thing we feel like doing, but it really does help to get the blood flowing and helps you rev up to the work you have to do. And if all else fails… coffee!
Coming from Seattle as a home base, coffee is key
Such an inspiring article! I totally agree, the most important things are when the situation is getting sticky, to focus on the problem, stay positive and at first, take a deep breath. Sometimes I need to step out of my comfort zone to get a wider view from the problem.
Great article..but I used to do my taebo lesson after work..It helps me to relax.. after a long busy day.. And I am agree with you.. always positive..
I so wish even half of this would seep into the corporate mindset. Even they would run more efficiently and probably keep employees happier.
Breath, focus, act. Instead of any other order.
Truth, Andrew!