Follow Your Own Path
Our moms love us, but they don’t totally get us. Take this conversation from late last week as we were preparing to head into the wilderness…
Me: Hey, Mom. I’m calling to remind you that we’re heading out camping in a few days. We might not be as reach-able for a couple of weeks.
Mom: Oh, gosh, I’ll be worried sick. You know a man was just killed by a bear out there in Montana. That’s where you’re going, right?
Me: Ya – but don’t worry, we’ll be fine. We do this a lot. Picture us among flowers and mountains – not bears.
Mom: Why don’t you just go someplace where you can stay in a hotel. You like that better, don’t you?
Me: No, we like it equally. We’ve talked about this. You know we call ourselves multiple personality travelers.
Mom: I don’t get it. And how can you not work for two weeks?
Me: MOM, you know we work from where ever we are. It’s the basis of the life we’ve built.
At this point the conversation turns – as it always does – into a “why don’t you still work at ____” conversation. I won’t bore you with the details. Instead, enjoy this picture of us among mountains and flowers.
Reject a templated life.
We tend to shun the mold. It’s tough when people don’t understand it, but it’d be even more difficult to conform.
This weekend, we had lunch with a couple of people who want to start their own location independent business. It was eye opening and, actually, a real a-ha moment for us.
As we were eating veggie-packed sandwiches in the blazing Seattle sun (yep, we got our summer), talk kept turning back to what other people are doing to start a business. Brainstorming successful models is great, but our two companions were fixated on mirroring an existing model.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not a solid strategy. Not because it won’t work (it might) but, rather, because this approach requires you to work from the outside in and not the other way around.
Create your own reality in life and work.
If, when we had started our business, we had tried to duplicate an existing model, we’d probably be simply contributing to the white noise. Sure, we might be successful, but our work wouldn’t have our unique stamp. We wouldn’t be entirely ourselves. During a visit to the Grand Canyon a few years back, we did what we now tell everyone else to do and firmed up how to mesh our unique talents with a need out in the world. It started with us.
Exploring your passion, your strengths and what differentiates you is really about examining how to be yourself. It’s ultimately about figuring out who you are and plugging into a need where you can add value. It requires some heavy lifting, but it is significantly more fulfilling.
Many of us get so caught up in chasing someone else’s dream, that it becomes easy to ignore the incredible things were supposed to be doing and the unique contributions we’re meant to be making. That’s what keeps some people frustrated. And, as the conversation above illustrates, this doesn’t just apply to the world of work. We actually bump into it in nearly everything we do.
We could have lives and beliefs that our moms understand – that fit a template – but at what cost?
Be yourself.
In work and in life, we say it’s best to make it very personal. Do everything with intention.
By the time we made it to chocolate chip cookies, our friends were on board and even inspired to take a new, more personal, approach to their new venture. After all, it feels good to be told to be yourself.
As we walked home from lunch, enjoying the waterfront, we talked about our guilt (and frustration) over having perpetually confused moms. We decide that it’s better to be honest – to be ourselves.
Use Halloween as an opportunity to be someone else. That’s our plan.
Does your mom think you’re crazy? Let us know. We’re off to chill among the mountains and flowers of Glacier National Park.
Ha–I love the conversation with your mom! My mom is very understanding of my travel and my work-from-the-road habits, but 99% of the other people I know don’t get it at all. We were just on a family cruise with 15 people, and I had to find Internet in each port because I had magazine articles due or editor queries to tend to and the others with us just didn’t get it–mainly because I’m convinced they think I “vacation for a living” and/or sit at home watching Days of Our Lives and eating bon-bons while downing bloody Marys!
I hear you! You’d be amazed at how often we have to explain and reexplain the life we live.
Oh, and a family cruise with 15 people? That’s brave!
Have fun! Would love to get out to Glacier NP (the US version – we’ve got one in BC, near the Banff NP border). Slight envy going on over here!
And yes, my mom thinks we’re nuts!
You will need to get over to Glacier at some point. It’s not too far for those of us in the PNW. It’s like a different world.
Glad to hear our moms aren’t the only ones.
Agreed, ones personal path needs to be followed or you might as well be working for someone else.
How can one try and follow a model without conforming to the model?
If it is someone else’s model, “It ain’t me, babe!”
Good blog post.
Cheers,
John D. Wilson
Good point, John. I think our entrepreneurial spirits definitely feed our thinking. We were always the ones – while working for companies – who were telling our bosses how they should be doing things.
Be Yourself by Audio slave has always been one of our favourite songs. You have to follow the path that is true for you otherwise you will just be miserable.
Part of going against the herd is copping flack from the herd when you try to escape. Many people don’t want you to be yourself and follow your own path, because they don’t know what that then means for them.
We are having a hell of a time with that with some family members over here. But ignore them and keep believing in what you are doing.
My mother has really no idea what I am doing online. She knows about the blog, but rarely reads it as she is technic phobic. She is incredibly supportive of what I do though, and is always asking and encouraging. She often will brainstorm with me new things I can do and helps me find solutions to challenges. I really really appreciate this a lot and the belief mum and dad have in me. I am sure they worry a lot about it for us,but they never let it show and they always make me believe we can do it.
“Many people don’t want you to be yourself and follow your own path” = so true. That’s a tough reality for a lot of people to accept. It’s like, as humans, we’re hard-wired to believe we’re doing something wrong if others don’t approve. Screwy, isn’t it.
Um, your mom isn’t the only one who doesn’t know what you’re doing online. You two do so much awesome stuff that even we can’t keep up
Yes! Reject template lives. This is a really inspiring post guys
Thanks, Roy. Glad we have your company in our quest.
Once again the fact that you are walking the walk shines through. What could sound like sloganeering coming from someone else sounds like hard won knowledge here.
It’s amazing how much truth there is in such a phrase as “be yourself” but it more often than not gets lost amongst all the cheap, or free, advice out there.
You are definitely not just adding to the white noise.
Thank you, Robin. Couldn’t agree with this more: “It’s amazing how much truth there is in such a phrase as “be yourself” but it more often than not gets lost amongst all the cheap, or free, advice out there.”
That was really the “a ha” that WE had during that lunch with friends… That it all really comes down to the power of being yourself when you really own the deeper meaning behind what can seem like nothing but a trite saying.
Great encouragement to not worry so much about what the “others” in our lives think of our passions.
My wife still thinks I’m crazy because I go and photograph trains.. but I do it anyways.. and she still loves me.
Ahh… true love!
Haha, I love that your mom is like mine- the conversation always follows the same pattern. No we’re fortunate that our friends and family accepted a long time ago that we were going to do out own thing. Sometimes its hard to go against the stream, but in the end, its more fulfilling.
Swim upstream- confuse the others!
We, too, are happy for acceptance of family/friends, but that doesn’t mean they all get it. We’re happy to re-explain as much as necessary
My mother has been thinking, and sometimes saying, I am crazy for a year or more. Last night, she came back from a marketing seminar and said, “I finally get it. I understand now why you twitter and facebook and all these silly things. Social media really is important huh.” She supports my being a photographer, because she is an artist. So she gets that. It’s nice to know that now she finally understands why I am always stuck in my iPhone when I am not behind a camera though.
If your Mom didn’t support you being a photographer, we would personally fly to wherever she is and slap some sense into her. You’re too damn good at it to not have everyone’s full support!
We don’t even go into social media with our families. It’s hard enough to get them to understand that a computer is not a typewriter placed in front of a TV!
That’s a great message guys!
I was just telling a friend of mine that if I were to win the lottery, my lifestyle probably wouldn’t change that much from what it is right now. I say this because I am content and have everything I need – and I try not to compare myself to others, but to be myself.
Luckily, my parents raised me traveling, and my Mom is alright with the random migrations (as long as I e-mail her every now and then)!
If you can’t imagine your life changing much after winning the lottery, you are doing the right thing! We are with you. I don’t know that I would even want to give up the work that we do. That’s a good sign.
Very insightful. Why is it so hard to be ourselves? It should be the easiest thing in the world to do but it is the one that seems to trip us up. These types of posts give me the energy to continue being myself. Thanks!
Have an excellent time tiptoeing through the tulips in Glacier… and watch out for those bears
Love this post! When I told mom we were headed to Utah, she was aghast! “for Gods sake be careful- those fanatical Mormons are kidnapping people right and left!”
omg!
Hope you have an awesome time camping! Thanks for the reminder to be ourselves. Sometimes when we start a new project or business, we want to follow models that lead to success rather than build success based on who we are. I think that is good for all of us to take that time to focus on our lives and who we are.
Watch out for bears, have fun, and I think my mom is the crazy one!
That’s a cute conversation with mom! Thinking outside the box is not natural, so it makes sense that people would want to follow an existing model. Doing your own thing is much more rewarding, though.
Great lesson here, not just about being ourselves when starting a business, but also in all aspects of life. My husband and I chucked tradition a while ago and always choose to do what fits our family best. And I think people’s perspectives are steadily broadening– more people are doing what they love, more women are breaking away from old roles, men are letting go of traditional expectations, etc., etc. Thank goodness!
I spent a lot of years chasing someone else’s dream — the template does not work. Reject away! Great post (again!)…
Love this post! Your mom sounds exactly like my mom. It can be so frustrating!! Actually, our moms sound like a lot of people – I was recently at a baby shower and in a room full of 65 people, only 1 person understood or was interested in what I do. Most people seem to step back with a confused look on their face when I explain that I live and travel Costa Rica while writing about it. Seems simple enough to me!
Are you sure you were not talking to my mom? HA! Sounds very familiar! I think it is so great that you can travel and work at the same time. I hope to travel and not work, but I would much rather be moving around and working then behind a desk. I love what you said about using Halloween to be someone else. SO true. I tell that to my mom DAILY!
Oh man…my family does not get our lifestyle at all. They think that because we play, try new things, seek adventures and such that I am unsettled, confused, discontented, or still trying to grow up! I will hear things like ” oh so you are a biker chic now?” because we bought a Harley to experience our walkabouts differently.
Recently my sister told me she read our blog post about Boston. It inspired her to buy a cannoli kit from Mike’s Pastry! It is a small but important step toward inspiring others to experience new things.
Several people also recently commented on how much we are out and about, all the things we do and places we go. They look like puppy dogs behind a cage door sometimes, believing they are trapped. It matters to us that we encourage others to go and do. It doesn’t even take world travel. It does not have to be big or nothing. Small steps out of the box matter too.
I hope you are having an awesome time in the wilderness! While driving down theBlue Ridge Parkway the other day a baby and momma black bear went bounding across the road!
“Exploring your passion, your strengths and what differentiates you is really about examining how to be yourself”. Really like this quote.
It has been 2 years of us on the road giving up everything we had/did and we are truly finding out what our passions and strengths are. It has given us direction in our lives. We couldn’t be happier.
Sure there are peeps who think we are crazy for what we are doing, but that’s okay. Maybe we are, but we’re not wasting a day away doing something we don’t want to do.
Hope you’re enjoying the flowers in the mountains
The less people get me, the happier I am.
I don’t think my mum does think I’m crazy, actually — she and my father overlanded to Afghanistan when they were 19 and 20. But I’m pretty damn sure she worries as I take her only grandson around Indonesia on a motorbike.
I had to laugh at the conversation with your mom. I think most of us who travel and work in unconvential ways are baffling to our families. After a while my mom got it, thankfully. There are other relatives who just never will.
Wow, so I’m not the only one having these type of convos with my mom. = ) Does she think I’m crazy? Yes!! Well, more so, it’s just that she doesn’t get it. I’m not even out in the wilderness anywhere. ; ) Just not in a cubicle anymore. She worries. Happy ventures!
I am a mom and I worry that my son twenty-something son has not traveled enough and is too caught up in the NYC race. Which by the way I am sick of.
Enjoy yourself.
Ah, yes – very common in the twenties. Buy him a one-way ticket.
That conversation sounds very similar to many I have with my Mom. Thanks for sharing.