NVR Toolkit – Be Grateful
We’ve built our life just the way we like it – No Vacation Required (NVR) style. It’s not always easy, but we’re happy to be living each and every day on our terms. Since dismantling our “old” lives, we regularly get a lot of questions about how we do it, why we do it and what exactly our new approach to life is like on the inside.
So, let’s not waste time with the small stuff. Here it is (drum roll please) the #1 most often asked question…
Q: Don’t you guys get sick of being around each other so much of the time?
A: The other day we were having lunch with a friend, and we touched on this topic. Over mac and cheese, we were recollecting how – pre life reconstruction – it got to the point where we were making appointments with each other. Yes, in a pathetic “can we swing dinner two weeks from tomorrow” sort of way. Looking back, it’s sad to think that things ever got so hectic and out of alignment. At the time, though, we were focused on upwardly mobile careers, so there didn’t seem to be time for real priorities. We were a corporate power couple, and we wanted to play the part well. Very well.
So, now, in our awesome new life, memories such as making appointments with each other and communicating largely via “how r u?” texts, are grounding. When one of us is insanely irritated (and it does happen), we try to be quick to remember the big picture and what’s important. We know it’s not gonna be perfect all of the time and we deal with it.
You learn to let small stuff go, and then you learn that most stuff is small stuff. We’re grateful to have realized that we want to make each other, and not a corporate strategy, a priority.
Learning to be grateful has been an immensely important part of building our NVR life.
Certain memories, like the above, keep us mindful of what we have. Another memory we like to keep in the mind vault is calling the credit card company (a while back) to let them know that we’d be traveling out of the country and to please please please not “block” our credit card. Again.
When I was telling the credit card guy on the phone the dates for our upcoming journey, he was astounded at how long we’d be away. I let him know that it’s probably not exactly as thrilling as it may appear; after all, “we’ll be working.” I said. I told him that so that he could contain his excitement. Unexpectedly, though, he becomes even more blown away. He said: “Who gets to travel the world and work from where ever they want?”
Oh… – WE do!
Some ideas for being mindful of how good you’ve got it.
It seems nuts that such a seemingly insignificant conversation could serve as a big reality check for us. It’s not about the conversation. Rather, its about those triggers and activities – whatever they are – that remind us to take stock of what we have. Here are some things we do to stay grateful:
- As mentioned above, we make a habit of remembering those events that remind us 1) how good we have it and 2) why we’re doing what we’re doing.
- We regularly verbalize and write down what we are grateful for.
- We make giving back a priority. Nothing gives you perspective like helping someone out. (More on this in a future post).
- When our minds turn to thoughts of what we don’t have or, perhaps, what we want, we turn our attention back to the here and now – the present. The more you focus on the present, the more “full” you feel. Oh, and breathing mindfully doesn’t hurt either.
In 2011 we want to continue to find the courage to live authentically and to remain mindful of how incredible it is to do so.
What helps you to remain grateful of the life you’ve got?
Well said! Those of us who are lucky enough to travel and see the world have a lot to be grateful for. There are literally billions of people who never see past their home town (or village.)
So true, Michael. To be able to experience the world —> what a gift! To be able to CHOOSE what our days are filled with is something to be very grateful for.
Great reminder to always be thankful for what you have.
I read somewhere that one of the problems with Western societies is that everyone is focussed on what they don’t have, whereas in Buddhist countries people focus on what they have. And I’ve noticed myself that people in Asia seem so much happier than people in Australia and the U.K. (As with all generalisations — it’s a generalisation, so please don’t get narky with me.)
I think that having a “what I have” mindset instead of a “what I don’t have” mindset is of paramount importance. Learning to feel “full” in the here and now is tough but, ultimately, very humbling.
This is a very grateful year for us, especially because we are on the road. We lost a family member just before Christmas and it reminded us how lucky we are to have our health and the good fortune to be able to travel. Good for you for recognizing your blessings!
Glad you mention health, Andrea. Lately, we’ve been trying to be better about honoring the fact that we each have 2 working legs, strong bodies to take us where ever we want to go, clear minds that allow us to make our own choices. That counts for a lot.
Aww writing down what you guys are grateful for are nice idea. It’s great that you guys have each other to travel and experience together!
Thanks, Sarah!
I think it’s so awesome and inspiring that you guys have carved out the life of your choice. Good for you.. we all deserve to have this kind of happiness and I’m glad you found it!
The small things come and go, and we really can’t sweat them. Really, in just traveling and writing and “working”, we are so blessed!
“The small things come and go, and we really can’t sweat them.” We second that, Kelly.
Nice to see that you have it all under control as a couple. Let me tell you, that I am grateful every day that I can lead the life I do, unincumbered, independent, free as a single woman traveler. I find plenty of company along the way and then enjoy being alone again.
I think we’re jealous of your life, Inka. Time to breathe deeply and to focus on what we have. Ommm…..
Your attitude rocks!
Although I’m not a religious person i think there’s something fundamental, absolutely crucial, about being grateful, thankful.
Agreed. I think being grateful transcends religion. It’s just a smart way of being.
oh it is soooo much nicer reading about the couples life you have now! can’t imagine you any other way…least of all the old version you’ve described. yay you!
and getting a little perspective by helping others goes a long way too- but you know that well! 
i try to remember this quote- “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” (His Holiness The Dalai Lama). i think one my “actions” is to count my blessings, which in turn makes me grateful and happy. i’ve had some hard knocks in life too and with that comes a choice- to be a victim or to be extra appreciative of the good you have. i choose the good
Very thoughtful, Lorna – thanks! Regarding hard knocks… We were just talking with someone struggling with unhappiness and feeling “less than” in many ways. The minute she was able to get out of her own head and to view her life from a different perspective, she felt grateful.
Tough thing is… It’s always the most difficult to get out of your own head when you most need to. That’s why it’s important for us as fellow humans to provide support and encouragement when someone who is struggling needs someone to lean on.
Some great tips! To many people these days aren’t grateful for what they have so its nice to hear how greatful you guys are! Its just one of those basic things that in a perfect world everyone should be.
Thanks, Jozef!
Love this post! During our RTW, my wife and I tried to be grateful every day for the amazing experience we were having, and we think back to that trip so often now, especially as our lives are starting to become super hectic again (the “how r u” text line almost made me throw up a little as that’s how it’s been with us lately). She’s working tons right now in a job she really dislikes as I try to get my new career off the ground. We hope to one day have similar lives to you two, living on our terms. Which is why we have so far refused to buy a house, fancy cars, lots of stuff, have kids, or tie ourselves down in any way. We know that the lifestyle we want WILL happen, but we have to patient. So while we may not be the happiest we’ve ever been right now, we are grateful for what our future holds.
Wow, Adam – what perspective you have. Reading about your commitment to the long view, inspires us to be more patient (uh… not a strength either of us has mastered).
Every day just knowing I have the opportunity that many others don’t keeps me grateful for what I have.
Well put, Ayngelina. I’m sure that kind of thinking also encourages you as you embark on the exciting new year you have ahead. Location independence rocks!
I had never thought to write down on paper the things I’m grateful for. That is a great idea! I agree that focusing on the present, can help to keep the wants from creeping into our minds. Thanks for reminding us to be grateful.
We each try to be explicit about what we are grateful for at least once a day. It’s a routine like, ya know, taking vitamins.
This is a beautiful reminder–it’s been a while since I thought about what I’m grateful for (probably not since Thanksgiving, lol!) .
Hmmm… Somehow I can’t imagine you being anything but grateful (regularly!). You’re too kind to be anything but, Marsha.
Agree with Lorna-” “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” (His Holiness The Dalai Lama).”
I’m grateful for meeting a woman 41 years ago who taught me to be grateful.
This pat year I’m grateful for meeting up with the travel blogging fraternity…wonderful, inspiring, positive, aware people.
41 years says A LOT, Jim. Congrats on that!
We, too, are thankful for this awesome community of travelers with open hearts and inspiring stories.
I love your attitude. Even though I just lost a job, I am particularly grateful to have become part of this virtual community of travelers who are so like-minded and supportive of each other. My own desire and determination to reorganize my life and future to enable more travel and freedom has much to do with inspiration I’ve received from people like you!
I hear you. It helps (a lot!) to have the inspiration provided by others with an adventurous spirit. It’s really shaped the way we envision the future and bolstered our desire to go after exactly what we want out of life.
I think when I travel I become grateful for everything. Being away makes me realize what I have that enabled me to do that: Job, Family, Money, Health and an Adventurous Spirit.
Well said, Ben.
Guys you are stealing all my thunder from my new blog about giving back (blog’s not up yet). So stop being so selfish about giving!
I wish I had the perspective you had at times. I can be a bit too intense. I do love the personal reflection and thankfulness aspect. I think the more you travel, the easier it is to be thankful. I think we share a lot in terms of how we travel and what we want to take from travel.
Yes, we’ve been breaking into your WordPress account and stealing your content. We are very grateful for that. Bwahahaha.
On a serious note… Glad you are also on this path and exploring these larger truths that make exploring the world even more fulfilling. I think your 2011 is gonna be amazing, Jeremy. We’re watching.
Excellent points and reminders. I’m going to take a few moments right now to think about how good I have it and how grateful I am.
My husband and I look forward to the day when we can be spending more time together in our NVR lives. We’re pretty fortunate already, though, that we can both work at home and I go along on business trips, when possible. Like you guys, when we may get irritated with each other, it’s good to remember what it was like when we were both off in distant offices for long hours every day.
Thanks, Cathy! You’re off to a good start if you can both work from home.
Nice article, I will refer to it in my website.
We all need to stop by and think what we do and what we should do.
Gratitude is such a powerful thing. It is what always helps me through my bad times. I always think of those who have it worse than me, and with that comes gratitude. I used to keep a gratitude journal, where I would write each day things I was grateful for and for those things coming I was also grateful for. I think I might need to start doing that again.
Thanks guys! Love your work as always.
Yep, thinking of the reality of others is powerful. The other day, things didn’t go at all as I had hoped. I started to get unreasonably irritated. I then thought of the fact that 1 in 6 world citizens are malnourished. That turned my crappy attitude right around. When you’re “in the weeds” it’s really tough to think outside of yourself, but it is so helpful.
A gratitude journal is a good idea. Thank YOU for being an inspiration.
i love your posts and the exciting fact that you can work anywhere you want
Ahhh, I love this post! Such a good reminder to be grateful for the people in our lives and the opportunities we have/have made. I think it’s a post I’ll have to bookmark and read on the days I’m feeling less than I should.
I dont know why I never know yall have a new post until like a few days later. I think I need to learn how to set up my RSS reader and subscribe to yall. Maybe that is something we can discuss on our Skype chat soon too.
I love this post. I have to be honest thanks to yall I have figured out something that we all know is universal. I just want to be happy & reading yalls blog & yalls support has made strive for it sooner than I thought.
Late to the game on this one – but…I often get afraid to even think about how good I have it. Like thinking about it will make it go away or snap the spell. That said, I’m grateful everytime I talk to the Peruvians I’m around. They, by law, can’t really travel. Their government keeps a tight hold onto who gets a visa and to which countries they can go to. I can’t imagine living in a place like that and it does make me so thankful and grateful that I have what I have.
Most stuff is most certainly small stuff! Love your outlook and feeling thoroughly inspired.