This Is a Blog That’s (mostly) About Being Happy
The other day we were talking about our blog with someone. She said: “Not everyone likes to travel.”
That statement reminded us that we’ve recently read a few things from people frustrated by travel bloggers/writers who think that traveling is the only way to enrich your life and to face fear. These critics get tired (quickly!) of the “life is a book and if you haven’t traveled you’ve only read one page” mentality.
Some questions for your skeptical aunt at the holiday table (and others).
Question #1: Why do you want me to stick with the pack?
We agree a (very) little with those critics – there are travel peeps who like to play that card (big time). However, we think these critics are missing the real story. Rather than dissin’ on travel bloggers for getting all “you have to go see the world” on everyone, examine why so many people are afraid to embrace a life – any kind of life – that will make them happier. Rather than getting pissed at the overly exuberant traveler, question why it’s such a touchy subject for some people.
Our take is that people start to get uncomfortable when others start to do something – when they break away from the collective. Exploring the world represents shunning the pack. When someone starts to chase a passion, it reminds others how miserable and stuck they feel.
Question #2: Why do you get squirrely when I talk about travel/dreams?
Having said all that… The main point of this website/blog is not travel (but so what if it was). More than anything, we enjoy having this outlet as a way of chronicling what’s going on. If we don’t write about it, who will? Along the way, we hope to inspire readers to do more of whatever makes their hearts jump. That’s where the title No Vacation Required comes in. You know… living a life such that a vacation seems unnecessary. Make sense?
So while we frequently have the urge to write non-stop about things like: renting a car for $4 a day, mastering Priceline and extracting maximum value from every single cent spent on travel, it’s not the only thing we can do. Sure, it’s easy and entertaining, but what does a $4/day rental car really matter to a certain type of reader if it just reminds him how stuck he is.
We’re taking our message straight to the critics mentioned above. We want you to be happy and to create your version of a NVR life. We want to focus on the reaction that these “know it all” travel and lifestyle bloggers are causing (and the “why” behind the reaction). That’s the story worth talking about.
Question #3: Why can’t you be happy – really happy?
Here’s the truth… A lot of people aren’t happy. Trust us, we know. Happiness-centric-stuff (in the world of Human Resources) is a big part of the work we do in order to live this NVR life.
Don’t give us your “no one is happy all of the time” speech. We know that too. That’s not the kind of happiness we’re talking about. Good days and bad days are a reality. What we’re talking about is the “happy” that really matters. The “happy” that makes some blogs’ audiences cringe because they know they don’t have it.
So, while we do want to get you revved up about seeing the world and having a big heart, we really want you to be happy. When you’re happy, you’ve set the foundation for a NVR life. That’s how it happened for us.
Stay tuned for exciting stuff coming in 2011.
What have you said/done that’s 1) made you happy & 2) made friends/family react?
You are right, so many people aren’t happy. I left this year to travel but I think travel is just a device to help me figure out what really makes me happy. Sometimes we just need new surroundings to evaluate the old ones.
Exactly, travel is a tool. For us, it allows us to step outside of our current reality – to shake things up a bit. The balance of travel and recharge time at home creates (for us) just the right amount of space for us to continue to take things to the next level.
Selling our house, brand new car and quitting our (relatively new) careers and coming over to Turkey to travel around didn’t go down too well with family and some of our friends. However, it made – and makes – US very happy. 7 years down the line and the world hasn’t imploded just because we didn’t do what we were ‘supposed’ to be doing.
Seven years of not doing what your “supposed” to do?! Perfect!
Our choice to live an NVR lifestyle was not a popular one either. It didn’t stop us for even a second and it seems to not have stopped you either.
maybe these peeps are just jealous that they haven’t taken the plunge yet and vent their frustration by dissing? live the dream i tell them!
Yeah. I think jealousy plays a huge role in why so many people are upset by others success, and creating a life that supports frequent travel is certainly a measure of success. Instead of rising up to meet others, many people would rather you meet them at mediocrity.
Live the dream, indeed!
ps, have now got the song ‘dont worry be happy’ firmly embedded in my mind. thanks, going to make christmas shopping a bit easier.
Our sincerest apologies!
Two types of people in this world, those that are positive and look for the best in any circumstance.
And the others- those that are negative about anything.
e.g. met up with a friend in Istanbul to spend 3 weeks touring East Europe. Morning I see him outside our boutique hotel, go up and greet him and he responds- ” Didn’t sleep well.Got woken up by the delivery truck early. And it’s going to rain!”
This in a city that is just waiting for us to explore! And if it rains we just do all the bazaars , palaces and museums.
We’re very careful who we travel with now.
So some will diss you for travelling, others will admire you.
If you want a good happy positive life, surround your self with good, happy positive people and the others can go hang.
Merry Christmas NVR guys. Thanks for being so inspiring!
Thanks Jim!
Amen to that!
…and traveling with others. That is always a risky proposition.
OK I will throw my thoughts on there on this. I like the challenging questions. They get you to think. However, I believe happiness is something that is based on external circumstances. Joy or contentment is a peace that you have regardless of what is going on around you.
I think you really hit on the point that enjoying life happens when you enjoy what you love. For some people, like us, that is travel. For others, it could be a number of things. As long as the life you enjoy is being driven by what it on the inside rather than what is going on around you, odds are that life is going to be a little more enjoyable.
Interesting thought, Jeremy. I don’t know that I would draw a distinction between happiness, joy and contentment.
I like that you say “…driven by what is on the inside…” It really does come down to knowing yourself and pursuing those things that truly resonate with you. Living to please others is the antithesis of happiness in our view.
I’ve read so many posts lately, too, where people are being dissed for taking a chance on something new and different in order to find that happiness that everyone is looking for…and I don’t get it. Happiness is a state of mind, and I don’t question my aunt, cousin, neighbor- whoever- when they tell me they like to play soccer, knit, wii, shop or whatever else to make them happy, so why should they ask those same questions to me just because mine include traveling and exploring new places. For me, that is when I feel most alive. Finding that exploration in my every day life is something that I’m working hard at doing and look forward to starting a new year with a new outlook.
It is hard to understand, especially when you are someone who is inclined to explore and take positive action. I just think many are terrified by this and, for whatever reason, would rather be surrounded by mediocrity than challenge themselves to change.
cheers guys! it would be nice if we could all adopt a live and let live mentality, and be supportive of whatever version of life others wanted to live. for some that would genuinely be the little house with the white picket fence and their neighborhood community, and for others it would be never landing anywhere for long. those who are being honest with themselves and living accordingly i think are most tolerant of others. too bad everyone can’t get there. another great thought-provoking post
So true. The “getting honest with yourself…” part is especially important and especially maddening to many. We are part of a culture that does not really stand up to critical thinking, so “getting honest” is viewed by many as thumbing your nose at the collective.
Great post guys. I have been feeling really frustrated with the attack on travel bloggers and long term travellers lately, hence the latest disclaimer on my blog. It is getting a bit like those warning signs you see on irons that say If you iron your clothes while wearing them you may get burned.
I think it is ridiculous that I have to explain what I write on my travel blog is intended for travellers who want to travel and maybe need some inspiration to get going. But you have to because too many people are looking to find offence.
I find it very strange that the people who complain about the message travel bloggers are giving are actually reading the blogs in the first place, if they are not interested in travel, then don’t read them.
There are many people who write about the path to happiness. Some say it is meditation, others going to Church, others volunteering, some knitting, some shopping and so forth. If I don’t believe these paths, why would I spend my days reading blogs in these niches and then getting pissed off with what they say?
It comes down to what you said, Happiness is a choice. Stop choosing to do things that make you unhappy and stop looking to lay blame on other for making you unhappy. I think you are totally right when they say they recognize it is something they don’t have but maybe want.
Usually, when I start to feel emotions like this I’ll say what is it about yourself that this person is making you try to recognize. Maybe you might be unhappy, or jealous? Why are you feeling like this and what is an empowering thing you can do with that emotion?
There was a post I commented on the other day that was another attack on travel bloggers, and I simply suggested that perhaps if you don’t like what somebody says the best thing would be to not give that person any attention. Choose instead to read the words from those that inspire you (happiness is a choice) Her response. I like to read these blogs to get angry because it gives me topics to write about.
I threw my hands up and walked away. How can you respond to that? Unfortunately, there are many people who are unhappy with their lives so they look for ways to fuel that and to try and get as many people on their side as possible.
It is making me frustrated (which again is my choice) because no matter how someone chooses to travel, whether it is a one day tour, a 3 day camping trip, a two week resort stay or a year long round the world, they are doing it because travel makes them happy.
It is time out for the stresses of our everyday lives so we can just unwind, spend time with our families, discover something new about ourselves and our world, and drink and be merrry. and so when I see all these negative posts and attacks going on within this travel niche I get so mad, because this is not what it is about. It’s not nit-picking and fighting. It should be just happiness and fun.
And if you can’t find that happiness within the travel path then maybe meditation might be a better choice.
Thanks guys for writing a post about this. I think I almost have in my comments
Should we just call this a guest post?
Not to focus too heavily on just one aspect of your excellent response, but I think your experience with the blogger who posted an attack on travel bloggers is so interesting. I think this is what drives so much of the “conversation” across a lot of media – this idea that one needs to make a name for oneself by speaking to what one is against.
In blogging, as in life, we try very hard to be mindful of coming from a place of positivity – being for something.
Great post! We’ve actually been really surprised lately by how supportive people have been of our travels. John sent out an email to about 70 friends with our blog URL and letting them know of our plans. So far the response has been really positive – and those who already know about it have been very supportive too. So I think many people are catching on that there is more out there than the suburban life and well-beaten path to happiness. I have always thought that the key to happiness is to be content with yourself and the choices you make. No amount of travel can do this for you, but it is certainly beneficial for many. If you are faced with someone who questions your choices, always consider the source.
Well said and so true. We have learned a very important lesson over the years… “Take nothing personally.”
Some people are just negative. I think they’re best avoided. If unavoidable, try to steer them away from topics that will get you down.
And negative blog comments deserve to be deleted, I reckon.
That’s my two cents worth. Merry Christmas and happy trails!
So true. And positive people doing what makes them happy really shines a light on that negativity. Shine a light, I say!
To each their own, I figure. I love traveling. A lot. But who knows, I might also look up in a couple years and want to stop traveling and do something else. Not sure why anyone should be upset with any other’s path to happiness, as long as no one is getting hurt in the process.
I think the issue is that many people do feel hurt when they see others’ success / happiness. Unfortunately, many don’t have the skills and / or desire to evaluate that uncomfortableness and make positive change.
The truth is that there are to many unhappy people out there. It doesn’t matter if you find happiness and a sense of self by traveling, writing, being a clown, performing on the streets, etc, the important thing is to do what you WANT to do and LOVE to do.
Too many people fear change; change of trying something new, change of not following the masses, plain change. This in turn makes them feel stuck and unhappy about their lives and self when they see others being happy and hopefully successful because they dared themselves to follow what they love.
For most of us in the travel-world, travel is one of the things that makes us happy. So what’s wrong with that? To each their own. We also shouldn’t fear to stand strong in what we believe not should stop doing what we love just because we feel criticized by others who don’t feel the same way.
Great post guys!
You’re absolutely right Norbert. The more of us that “…do what we WANT to do and LOVE to do,” the less negative people there will be in the world.
AMEN NORBERT, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!! (sorry for the caps thought it was needed) Norbert, says everything I feel.
You know what the worst is I was ever called? AND to my face? An idle bitch with too much money and spare time at her hands. Now guess what kind of person it was that said this. Exactly, the most miserable creature under the sun. Your thoughts are spot on.
Ouch! Forget the “bitch with too much money,” it’s the “idle” that would really send me through the rafters!
Thanks for the comment.
Travel could actually be one of the end products of happiness, joy, contentment or love. Do you ever see sad, bitter people choosing to do wonderful trips around this wonderful globe of ours? I chose a direction in life where I was to be surrounded by love, and I don’t give a toss about what others think.
I had a family member recently say to me that I was wasting money supporting my kids in their adventures; one living in Paris, and one in Mumbai – and I felt nothing from their comment, but a feeling of sorrow towards them and their attitude.
Huge smile after reading this, John. Every kid should be so lucky to have a parent like you!
To be 100% honest I have been unhappy for a very long time. My wake up call was my DWI (almost 2 years ago). I evaluated my life and realized I was not happy. I then had to do the time for my crime that caused me to be unhappy for 17 more months. Through out that time is when I realized I deserve to be happy too and if that means travel the world then so be it. I have been doing everything I can to make this happen. RIght now I am finally happy with how everything is going in my life except for my job. I just cant stand it. I dont know if I am going to be able to make it 7 more months. I am going to try my best but if it just doesn’t work out I think I am really going to BREAKAWAY and just go now. I have nothing holding me back & I know for sure I am not running away from anything.
I know my family and friends don’t agree with what I am doing and just dont understand me. The way I see it is a lot of people already don’t understand me for being who I am so I just don’t care. I am going to do me & am going to be me. I just wanna be happy…
Jaime – You are figuring this all out at a very good time in your life. Many awesome things are in store for you because you are committed to being who you are (and not who others expect you to be). You get the *slow clap* from Kent and Caanan.
Great post! Also love that your blog is mainly about being happy with travel elements. I think it’s also worth noting that travel can also make you miserable, but if you’re usually a happy person at home, you’ll likely be the same when traveling but the reverse is also true. Happy Holidays!
I was not previously aware of the word “squirrely”. That might be my favourite word now.
And I love the sentiments here – it’s all very well being against something, but if there is nothing you are for you are wasting everyone’s time.
Good call, Robin – We have a lot of… shall we say “contrarian” views, so it’s important that we stay focused on what we’re FOR and not everything that we’re against.
Very well put! Although I don’t believe everyone has to travel to be happy and that some writers are far too into the thought that this is the only way, I think people often just fear the unknown… whenever I say anything to my friends or family about something out of the ordinary I get VERY mixed reviews, aka my own business projects, aka a year RTW. But once they realize I’m going to do it anyways, they become more supportive and some of them even start doing these things themselves. Pushing your love for travel on people is like pushing any belief on people.
Good point, Lindsay – We notice that a lot of people have a sour response initially and then warm up to the idea of moving away from the “group think” mentality. People we know who used to “hate” travel are now just about as crazy as we are in their quest to race around the world.
I love this post! It’s true, everyone needs to find their own way to happiness. And sometimes, it requires some work and soul-searching to figure out exactly what that is. Too often, others try to bog you down as you go through the process.
If travel is your bliss, then go for it! And if it’s not, celebrate your own. It’s all good, in the end.
Well said, Chris – Celebrate your own bliss. (BTW – you inspire us to continue to celebrate our bliss
Excellent use of the word Squirrel as a descriptive! And wow. You really hit the nail on the head. Most of my friends have been super cool about me hitting the road but I have one who definitely gives me that strange, almost manic, anger. Its sad because I used to talk to this person all the time now it feels like we’re just avoiding eachother.
; [
The “avoiding each other” sitch is a bummer – think we’ve all been there. Drastic change is a fantastic way to determine who really cares about you.
It really is a bummer. I’d bring it up but she has already accused me of “judging” her for having a cubicle job. Thanks as always for writing about stuff that’s so poignant!
for me, traveling is a state of mind. An openness and an eagerness to experience that can occur at home, or away.
Very well put!
It’s an interesting point. No getting away from it, travel does make a lot of people happy and even if you’re not completely happy with your daily life in general, a little trip even just for a few days can keep you going for months if need be. But does the furstrated yearning for travel (when it’s not always possible or at least when the full extent isn’t feasible at that time) also create/reinforce unhappiness sometimes? I would say so.
This is a terrific post and a terrific blog, guys!
Good timing, too, since I’m in the midst of a major lifestyle change myself–and there are detractors!
I’ll keep checking in.
Jude